Sometimes it's hard to be a woman

Well it is. 

We have to deal with all sorts of crap that men don't even have to think about. Like glass ceilings. More expensive haircuts.  Universal expectation that we will not have chipped nail polish.  Split ends.  How appropriate it is to be 31 ¾ and have a photo of K Middy pinned on your fridge.  No carbs before Marbs. Etc etc etc. 

And then of course, there is the worse feminine thing of all – tights.
 
Picture the scene.  The seasons are finally drifting from icy cold Spring into fairly chilly Summer and the time has come to go from your lovely thick, black tights (possibly navy on a Jaunty Friday) into something a bit more sheer.  Nude hosiery.   You pop into Marks & Spencer when you have a spare 10 minutes, as any fool knows M&S is the business.  

Fear grips you.

You see in front of you maybe 40 different choices.  I'm not even exaggerating.  A big M&S will have a hosiery department that is about 20 square meters.  It’s a fairly long time since you last wore nude tights, so impossible to go straight to some trusted favourites.  Now I'm over 30 I have trouble remembering what I did last weekend, let alone what tights I wore in September. 

Questions flood your mind.

1)  Do I want NUDE?  Natural Tan?  American Tan? Too beige and you look like a little girl going to a birthday party.  Too dark and you look like an ice skater. 
2)  What denier?   No doubt the smart ladies buy very sheer 7 denier tights but I will of course have ripped these to shreds by the time I have had my first Americano. 
3) 10 Denier?  Still risky.  They are possible if you are going to a wedding and want to have the sheer, sexy look – but if you go this low on the denier you will only be able to wear them once at most and you'll need to have another spare pair in your clutch bag ready to whip out in the Posh Portaloo in the middle of a field.  Chances are by this stage you will have had one too many and will rip the second pair too, will give up on the whole thing and will descend the portaloo steps, and then you will spy an interesting Frenchman you have been longing to discuss the state of Anglo French relations with and will spend the next 30 mins nicking his cigarettes, banging on about Carla Brunai and the whole time with a sheer, natural tan tail.   (THIS IS NOT BASED ON A TRUE STORY.)   (OK MAYBE IT IS SLIGHTLY TRUE). 
4) 20 Denier?  Well you might overheat on the tube?  Yes you can wash them 40 times but will you look like Nora Batty? Will you?  Hmm? 
5)  Toeless.  For if you want to wear open toe shoes. 
6)  What exactly is a gusset?
7)  Cooling tights?  Surely the point of tights is to keep you warm??
8)  Anti cellulite tights?  Well now they are just being stupid.
9)  Obviously we want them to make us slimmer.  But HOW MUCH SLIMMER?  Medium strength control?  Full strength? 
10)  Control from our knees to our chin?
11)  Or just control around the bottom?
12)  Control around the waist as well, surely? 
13)  Matt look or oiled??  Oiled makes you sound like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl and that has GOT to be a good thing. 
14)  Whatever you do don't buy shiny. 
15)  Seriously, why do I need a strengthened gusset?  What do they thing is going to happen? 
16)  The stockings or hold up option look lovely on the packet, but in reality by the time you get to Camden Town on the Northern Line they will be rolling down your dimply thighs in a most unsexy fashion.  Best saved for mini breaks. 

You glance around you, lost in a sea of Lycra. You look at what other ladies are popping in their shopping bag in hope of inspiration.  You wish you had a Percy Pig to revive you.

Then. 

In the corner of your eye you spot something new.  Something lovely.  Something familiar.

A Beauty Hall.

Yes my friends, Marks and Sparks has branched out and now has a luxury beauty hall in the big branches.  And it is a wondrous thing.  It has a variety of lovely, unusual brands – not just their own – including Leighton Denny, Ren, Nuxe, Crabtree and Evelyn, Philip Kingsley and Skyn. 

Also, if you are in the market for a polkadot shower cap, some nice spongebags and make up brushes – you are in the right place. 

Here are some pics of just how lovely it is. 

As well as the non M&S brands – I have to say how amazed I was by the quality and variety of M&S make up – specifically the Autograph Collection.  Priced somewhere between Chanel and No7, with glossy packaging, lovely textures, good basics and staples plus some nice fashion shades – it is my new beauty crush.  I invested in this lovely bronzer, which is really good value at £14 and has a lovely glow.  They have a shimmery version and a matt version, so whatever you are after they have it.


I also invested in the Leighton Denny crystal nail file.  At £15 this probably is the most expensive nail file in the world but I am not exaggerating when I say it has changed my nails – it is amazing and my nails no longer split. 

I spent maybe a good 30 mins drifting around.  I never did buy any tights.  But boy, did I leave that store a happier woman. 

Rose x

T minus 6 days to Annie's Wedding

Eyebrows dyed?  Check

Hair highlighted?  Check

Hair conditioning treatment?  Check

Panic lost 7lbs?  Check

At home facial?  Check

3 pairs of control pants bought?  Check

3 pair of control tights bought?   Check

Eyelash extensions?   Check

New giant beige bra?   Check

Pin down Mr Rose and trim his eyebrows?  OUTSTANDING

Have 1st sunbed?  Check

Have 2nd sunbed?  OUTSTANDING

Pin down Mr Rose and slap some St Tropez on him whilst telling him it is just moisturiser?  OUTSTANDING

Shave legs to within inch of life?  OUTSTANDING

Scrub red bobbly arms twice daily and slather with moisturiser?  Check

Pedicure?  SERIOUSLY OUTSTANDING I HAVE CLOVEN HOOFS

Manicure?  OUTSTANDING – though I am manicure ready thanks to amazing new product

Diary cleared to allow for only protein and veg evenings in at home with early nights?  SORT OF

Overnight bag packed with every make up product known to man?  OUTSTANDING

 

Helpin Annie find the perfect natural but not too natural, long lasting but not dry coral lipstick?  OUTSTANDING

 

Keeping my excitement under control?  OUTSTANDING!

 

 

Rose xx

 

 

 

 

Annie and Mr Annie and a chocolate cake

So in just under 3 weeks my darling middle sister will be marrying her beau, Mr Annie. It only seems like yesterday that we were planning weddings for our many Barbie dolls and the one, polygamous Ken doll.

When she got engaged last year and I told friends and colleagues, their first reaction was always 'gosh how lovely' and then they cocked an eyebrow at me and said 'how are you taking it?'. For as the elder and unmarried sister, a sense of Jane Austen still lives in 2013.

But the thing is about love, that even though you may wish you had what they have, you are so pleased they are happy it cancels out the jealousy. I'm fairly sure Annie is deeply jealous of my BLUE SHED and we are both insanely jealous of Izzy's washboard stomach.

Mr Annie is like the little brother I never had, to see them together is a joy because they are not only soul mate ish, but he relentlessly takes the piss out of her, which helps to keep her grounded ;-)

My mum and dad, as you can imagine have been relishing marrying a daughter from home: dad has done full scale models of venues to work out seating plans and conducted raucous blind wine tasting tests which I thoroughly enjoyed. Mum has been sweet talking the local farmer into lending a field for the marquee, bribing old ladies to do the flowers and you can tell she has really got into it now by sending emails with menus for 4 days worth of celebrations.

So just before the wedding on the day itself, we are having egg sandwiches, sausage rolls and my mum's famous Almond Cake. Just reading the email about it gave me an idea and I got my Baking Tickle. This cake is famous throughout Warwickshire and is known to heal the sick. People who barely know her ring up and ask for one.

As Mr Rose has been such a Trojan in the garden this weekend (he is Master of Weeding whereas I'm more of a Creative Director type) I decided he had more than earned a cake. So I found my recipe book, found the page with it on and lo and behold, next to it was a recipe that belonged to my mum's god mother for a chocolate almond cake. So as he is a chocoholic I though I'd try it and he has given it a big thumbs up.

 

 

As you can see its not giant, but its very rich.

To make it you need:

2oz butter
4oz caster sugar
3 beaten eggs
4oz drinking chocolate
2oz SR Flour
2oz ground almonds
1 tsp almond essence
Chuck it all in a 6" cake tin at 180 degrees for 50 mins.

 

Serve to a hungry man on a garden bench while he admires his handiwork.

And no, none for me- I've got a bridesmaid dress to fit into!!!

Love,

Rose xx

 

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Banko fun

About 6 months ago, Mr Rose and I were aimlessly wondering around Homebase trying to pick which Crown paint was a good enough copy of Farrow and Ball's Dorset Cream to fool Aunty Mame, when I stumbled on the previously unknown concept of shed paint. Shed paint! I know, brilliant huh?

You can paint your shed violet, rose pink, line green, slate, stone, Cotswold fart - whatever you like.

I clocked the shade 'forget me not' and made a mental note to transform our shed come spring. This weekend was the allotted time so we skipped back to Homebase and bought it. I woke ludicrously early yesterday morning and raced outside to get the first coat on.

The reason for my speed was that I wanted to slip outside before Mr Rose woke up. He is the sort of chap that does things properly - if he'd awoken I'd have been made to read the instructions, prepare the area, wear appropriate clothing, cover the ground etc etc. All of this would have totally ruined my impulsive moment!

I forgot to get a 'before' photo but you get the drift here.

And here is the finished product:

Anyone wondering what the effect was of not preparing the area? Well we now have some rather blue strawberries...

Here is Whispa from next door admiring it

We went to Ikea yesterday and snapped up these amazing solar fairy lights to go in the plum tree next to it:

 

It was so easy, and just a flash of colour at the end of the garden has transformed it.

Love,

Shed Obsessed Rose

(I don't know who I am anymore)

Xx

 

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Going, Going, Gone Girl

You have probably seen half of the people on public transport reading this book. 

I don't normally like thrillers, as I'm a total scaredy cat but I am gripped to this book. 

It has lots of twists and turns and has kept me interested on the Northern Line all this week.  A perfect summer read!

Highly recommended

Rose x

Effortless Glamour

I often think that around Easter is the least attractive time for a British female.  We have survived a long winter, not unscathed, and the days of freezing cold wind, the heat from tube carriages and general lack of Vitamin D are taking their toll.   I don't know about you, but I'm finding getting out of bed on cold mornings even harder than normal because the winter has gone ON SO LONG and I can't take it anymore.  Instead of glamming up in the morning I feel like closing the curtains and staying inside with a greasy pony tail and old joggers.    

 

However, the show must go on!  Here are two tricks I've come up with that enable me to stay in my warm cosy bed as long as possible in the morning.

 

Bendy rollers

Hair is the first key to effortless glamour.  Get your hair looking good and it will distract from any winter weariness.  But if I set my alarm half an hour early so I can get up and use my Babyliss Waving Wand for curly locks, or give the mop a proper blow dry then I will guarantee to just hit snooze 4 times till I get up, spray some dry shampoo on the roots and run out the door with the hair of a slattern. 

Now I haven't used these since I was a kid, but I spotted them in Superdrug and thought I'd give them a try.  Old school, huh?!

The beauty is that you wash your hair at night, rough dry it, wind these babies in like this…

Bedtime Chic

 

And then just go to sleep.  OK so they aren't the most comfortable things ever but you get used to them and the brilliant thing is you wake up with hair like this..

Bendy foam rollers - the results!

Which not only always works brilliantly, but the curl lasts till you next wash your hair – giving you glamorous hair for days – for zero work on it in the mornings. 

 

Really thick foundation

If ever I am asked which foundation I use, then the answer is 'well I have about 4 different ones depending on what I need it for, where I'm going and how good my skin is!'. 

The secret is to keep changing it depending on your needs, which can vary from one day to the next. 

In the summer I just use tinted moisturiser (Liz Earle is the best), the foundation that takes me through winter is an Armani one which is heavenly but recently I've been looking so tired it hasn't cut the mustard. 

Like most modern foundations it is really all sheer and light and glowing, which is great if you've had lots of sleep and can top up the patches with concealer and also finish with powder etc.  But who has time for a 3 step programme on a Monday at 7.40am?!  Not me, that's for sure. 

A few weeks ago I rummaged through Annie's make up bag and found Estee Lauder's Double Wear Foundation.  

I put it on and was HOOKED.  With this stuff it is all you will need on your face apart from a touch of blusher.  It lasts all day long.  I put my face through a lot – air conditioning, tube carriages, long days..  but it doesn't ever need touching up. 

Yes it is quite thick, but if you match the colour to your skin tone properly there is no reason why you should look too made up.  And they do 30 shades, so excuse for getting that wrong  ;-)

 

 

So there we have it - a few things to glam you up, really quickly, on cold winter mornings. 

What tips do you have for instant glamour?  Let me know!

 

Rose

xx

The importance of Brand

Mr Rose has many good qualities.

You can name any country in the entire world and he will be able to tell you the current political situation, the state of their economy and a brief history of their wars. 

He is blessed, follically speaking, and will never ever go bald.

He is braver than a lion.

He wears what I tell him to.

He knows all about Wagner. 

He loves going on holiday to exotic, 5 star beach locations with me and never makes me go sightseeing or mountain biking. 

However, nobody is perfect and Mr Rose is what can only be described as a Stubborn Little Bugger.  

For months I've been wanting to try out my new loaf tin from Lakeland, but every time I offer to make him a banana bread, he screws his face up like a toddler being fed a sprout and replies 'well you can make it but I wont be eating any of it because I DESPISE banana bread'. 

Yesterday my darling mum sent me back to London after a very lovely weekend of Warwickshire Rehab – with a bunch of very mouldy bananas that had 'come off the back of a lorry'. 

(Don't ask)

So I was determined to make some banana bread for Mr Rose's breakfasts (he has a tendency to leave the house to go and run a government department with only an apple inside him – I see it as my duty to the Nation to make sure he arrives at Westminster well fed).

I needed to get rid of him for about half an hour while I went about my secret mission so I nonchalantly asked if he knew where my records were for a savings account.  He bounded up the stairs 2 at a time and spent a merry half an hour tutting at how bad my filing was till he jubilantly found it. 

By which time I'd whipped up banana bread, chucked in some raisins and REBRANDED it.
So when he approached the kitchen to see what I'd been up to, he was presented with Breakfast Loaf – a new concoction of mine.  Full of protein, goodness and fruit to keep him going on his way into the office. 

Reader, he wolfed it down and had another slice this morning for breakfast, so Her Majesty's Government is being properly run today – we can all rest easy. 

The recipe was got from one of my all time fave blogs:  Esther Walker's Recipe Rifle (read it, it is magnificent) – and the exact recipe can be found here.  She has 3 different banana bread recipes on the site, but this was the only one which I didn't need to go and buy new ingredients for.   The only thing I changed was adding in 2 handfuls of dried chopped raisins and apricots.

So here's to fooling boyfriends with the rebranding of banana bread!  Pics below...

Rose
x

Breakfast Loaf - not banana bread!!

Aren't the daffs lovely? 

Bree Van De Kamp comes to North London

I thought I'd share this amazing cookie recipe with you.
 

Now Mum – before you start fanning yourself and exclaiming that I shouldn’t be eating cookies due to the bottom the size of China issue – please note this was as part of my efforts to turn my road into Wysteria Lane. 

One of my lovely neighbours had a gorgeous baby girl a few weeks ago, and as she had a rather long birth ended in an emergency C-Section I felt she was definitely in need of some spoiling.   So I googled 'best ever cookies' and this recipe came up!

It worked really well was super easy, making me look like Bree Van De Kamp.  They are doughy, gooey, and indulgent just like Ben's Cookies. 

 

Double Chocolate Cookies, Makes 12: 200g butter, 200g golden soft sugar, 100gcaster sugar, 1 large egg, 275g self-raising flour, 75g cocoa powder, three BIG bars of chocolate (white, milk and dark), a dollop of milk.

 

Blend the butter and sugar, really soft almost runny butter works best.  Then basically shove everything else in - if it is a bit dry add a dash of milk.  The choc should be quite decent sized chunks.

Bake for about 10 mins, maybe less.  If they come out looking a bit raw don't worry, as they cool they will continue to cook a bit and you want them nice and gooey. 

Here they are pre oven – do admire the lovely Mrs Chicken in the background

 

 

And here is the finished object. 

Yummy double chocolate cookies

 

 

 

So just pop on a full face of make up, pop them into a charming basket with a gingham ribbon and deliver 90%* of them to your nicest neighbour. 

*Obviously Mr Rose wasn't going to let all of my baking leave the house unsampled

Happy Baking!

Rose x

Things I love this week

Recently about a zillion people have asked me where the blog has gone.  It hasn't really gone anywhere, I've just been really busy, I've had a broken ankle and somehow it hasn't made it up my priority list.

 

OK maybe not a zillion people, but my mum has definitively been kvetching about the lack of blogging. 

 

Just now I just got THE MOST PLAINTIVE text from Cousin LL (who is nearly 4 months preggers!!!!!!! J)   (yep, I know, indecently quick, they were barely back from honeymoon..  ;-))  saying that I'd recommended Nashville to Aunty Mame, and why hadn't I told her because she doesn’t have a life any more. 

 

So I thought – right I'm just gonna do a cheeky little blog post about this and other things I have been loving recently. 

 

First up is Nashville – More 4's latest glossy American import – it charts the lives of vastly wealthy, glossy, well dressed Americans who have giant houses and sing songs about their 'ole pick up trucks.   As my friend Caroline said on Twitter today, it is worth it for the lustrous barnets alone!

Nashville ladies

 

What’s not to like??   

 

It is on Thursdays.  Set the Sky Plus. 

 

Second up:  Liz Earle shampoo and conditioner. 

 

I'm a massive fan of Liz Earle – I have most of their range and I especially like their make up range which came out recently.  But the shampoo is brilliant.  I tried it for first time 2 days ago and half the office has told me my hair looks good. 

 

Basically I look like this: 

Liz Earle styleeee

 

 

My hair is soft, shiny and it smells lovely.   And it is £8.75 a bottle, so a nice treat but not too expensive. 

 

 

Last up:  Party Pieces

 

Yes yes yes I know I adore K Middy a little too much, but planning parties is made so much easier by their brilliant customer service, lovely products and reasonable prices. 

I'm organising a party on Saturday night and have bought tonnes of red lanterns  - the look I'm going for is this.  Cute, huh? 

 

Why have 1 when you can have 76?

 

Buy a few of these from Party Pieces, and Bob is your uncle. 

 

http://www.partypieces.co.uk/special-occasions/party-lights-sky-lanterns/outdoor-party-lights-lanterns/20in-red-lantern.html

 

Rose x

In the lounge

I read this article the other day about how to have a successful blog. 

It said I should be posting blogs as often as possible to entertain my readers.  

But it's been a while.  But the whole point of this blog wasn't really to be successful it was primarily to entertain myself, and possibly my family. 

So the last few months I've been so busy enjoying my new love nest with Mr Rose that the blog is woefully neglected. 

An interesting outcome is that my family have got so fed up of waiting for me to write a blog they've started 'blogging' themselves.

I KNOW! 

So bitches, I'm back to retain my crown. 

I find myself currently in the Cathay business class lounge en route to Hong Kong to run a big event. 

It's fricking amazing in here. It has a noodle bar and endless champagne. It will be hard to leave.  

The purpose of doing business class travel on your own is to be as nonchalant as possible.  Nothing screams 'loser' like exclaiming to yourself out loud, forgetting for a moment in your excitement that you are all alone 'oh my god I'm going to have a latte and a vodka tonic AT THE SAME TIME!!!'  

So I'm wearing bright red lipstick, a killer frock and I'm trying to keep my shitty New Look cabin bag hidden from view. 

If anyone asks I'm the MD of a successful lingerie business, off to China to see my shareholders. 

Rose 

Xx