An Interview with Auntie Mame

Apologies for no posts for a week or so, dear readers, I've been busy growing my eyelashes and working too bloomin' hard. 

The grand matriarch and doyenne of good taste, Auntie Mame, has very kindly answered a little interview I sent her today. 


1)   If you had to only celebrate one of these for the rest of your life and forsake all others, which would it be?  Christmas / Birthday / Easter
Xmas (I like it visually, tree, lights, dark rooms, candles, lots of people)

2)  What is your opinion on why Seal and Heidi have split up?
Seal cheated for sure

3)  Which flowers are vulgar?
Carnations (even in a mixed bunch)

4)  What is the most appropriate pudding served at a dinner party for close friends on a Friday in February?  Main course is beef. Queen of Puddings with thick un whipped cream  (Find the recipe here)

5)  You have been a style icon in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s.  Which would you say is the fashion you have enjoyed the most? 
Flared jeans and white cheesecloth smock a la 1970 mode as worn to Rod Stewart at The RoundHouse

6)  With both of your children being married this year, what is the advice you will impart on how to have a happy marriage? Well defined roles

7)  If you won 40 million pounds on the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?  Serviced flat in London on the Thames

8)  Which has been your favourite blog on Rose to the Occasion so far? Christmas with my family blog particularly your Mum's air of disappointment when there is no new car to be seen.

9)  Throughout history, who has been your favourite monarch? Queen Victoria, India, loads of children, a goer, a doer, a real queen

10)  Of all of the houses you have lived in, which has been your favourite and why?
Our house in Bucks in the 90s, wow kerb appeal and great Entrance Hall for parties

Rose

xx

Rapid Lashes

There are many things I don’t like all that much about myself.  But you get to 30 years old, and you realise there are somethings that are just not going to change.

1 – My love of Country Music is embarrassing.  You don’t ever meet anyone else who likes it so it is a lonely passion.  It is acceptable, just about, to be a bit potty about 80s House music, 70s cheese or even One Direction.  But songs about slammin’ that screen door, sittin’ on the front porch, daddy’s pick up truck etc etc are JUST NOT COOL.  

2 – I really enjoy liquor.  And that is just not ladylike.  I don’t mean gin or vodka, I mean the really hard stuff.  Give me a good Armagnac and I’m a happy as a clam

3 – The only chocolate I really like is stuff you can buy in a newsagents.  Anything posher than Nestle or Cadbury’s and it just isn’t the same. 

4 – I think one of the nicest smells in the world is fabric softener.  I have been known to wash clean sheets again if they come out of a cupboard rather than the tumble dryer.

All of these things are odd.  And I’m not proud of them.  But they are me.  The other thing I’ve had to come to terms with is the biggest secret of all, which very few people actually know. 

Even though my hair is naturally mid brown I have completely blond eyebrows and eyelashes.  YES I KNOW – this makes me a freak of nature, right?  Surely one of the good things about having brown hair is that you have a nice frame to your face of defined eyebrows and eyes.  But no, I must have really unusual colouring.  This is something I mostly keep secret but always always always wearing eyebrow pencil, lashings of mascara and for special occasions I get eyelash extensions. 

When I was a little girl here are a few of the women I was desperate to grow up to become:  

CZJ in Darling Buds of May

Scarlett O'Hara

Diana Barry in Anne of Green Gables

Elizabeth Taylor

All of them have gorgeous strong brow and long lashes. 

But instead I have more similar colouring to this chap. 

So I’m going to try a new product which promises to make my eyelashes and eyebrows grow thick and luscious. 

I read about RapidLash ages ago, and have since heard loads of good reports from very reputable sources and am going to give it a try.  I know it sounds totally infeasible but listen to the science bit:  some doctors noticed that patients being treated for glaucoma were growing longer and thicker eyelashes so some clever people used the technology for this product.  It is about £30 in Boots, but you can get it for about £20 on Amazon.  I’m now using it every night – but it takes about 8 weeks to work so I’ll have to keep you posted.  I expect by then I’ll look like Liz Taylor.  Cos something that comes in a tube can do that, right?  

Rose xx

Surviving January

So possums, how are you all doing? Survived the first week back in real life? I'd give 2012 a 6/10 so far.

Mr Rose got a mahoosive and unexpected tax bill. Which is shit.

My dear 'rents had buyers fall through on our family home. Which is really shit.

But some good stuff is happening too. My job is shaping up to be fun in 2012, with some nice events in exotic locations.  Mr Rose and I have been house hunting ready for our impending move and although we haven't found The One yet (or even This Would Do) it is fun nosing around houses and imagining finally having a kitchen that can fit more than one of us in at once.

The variety of ways in which people display their houses when on the market is extraordinary. We saw one yesterday which had the glossy finish of a 5 star boutique hotel. It was divine. If it hadn't been in the wrong area we would have snapped it up, purely because we would love to see ourselves living the lifestyle. You suddenly imagine yourself with polished French antique furniture mixed with interesting finds from bijoux flea markets - conveniently forgetting that everything you own is from Ikea and seeing as Mr Rose thinks spending over 500 quid on anything that isn't a holiday is an outrage, that situation is unlikely to change.
But you can dream.

One house we looked round was perfect for us on paper - but was priced so high that we thought it must be in a wonderful condition with added benefits such as huuuuge landscaped garden, divine ensuite and kitchen you could be lost in. Alas, it was fairly bog standard. I was utterly horrified to see in the downstairs loo a large handwritten sign about how if you wanted to do a poo you had to go upstairs and weren't allowed to use this one. I mean HONESTLY who would leave such a sign up for everyone to see?????!?!?

We ruled that one out pretty sharpish.

But it hasn't all been poo. Here is fun stuff I've been up to this week.

• Reading 'Major Pettigrew's Last Stand' by Helen Simonson. It has all the components of an excellent book - hilarious characterisation, thoughtful comment on race relations in rural England, romance, so much humour about village life and golf club politics it has had me hooting. 

 

• Culture 'init. I always book theatre this week as it is cheering and doesn't involve carbohydrate or booze. Necessarily. On Thursday I went to see Strictly Gershwin - the music of Gershwin performed by an orchestra accompanied by the Royal Ballet. I got a mild surprise as the curtain went up and the music started, as I'd got my Musical Jews mixed up and was expecting the music of Bernstein. Oops. But Gershwin was totally lovely, if unexpected.  
• Then Friday I took Mr Rose to see One Man Two Guvnors which was hilarious. Go if you can. Beg, borrow or steal a ticket.

 

• Keeping my new year's resolutions. This year I decided to wear a different pair of earrings in January to make use of my vast collection.  (I never understand why people set themselves hard ones they won't keep, like learning Mandarin. Aim low, I say, and feel smug when you achieve). 
• Living vicariously through Cousin LL who has not only pretty much planned an entire wedding in a week (with my help) but last night went to the Royal preview of Warhorse sitting 3 rows away from K-Middy and Wills.  Jealous beyond words.  
• Thanking the Lord Jesus and my parents I was not named Blue Ivy

Rose x

New Year's Day

The news came through the airwaves at 10am - Cousin LL and Mr Cousin LL are getting hitched!!! 

By 12.40pm Cousin LL was getting worried as she had not heard from me. She had visions that I was either:

1. Crying in a jealous heap and yelling at the sky 'Why God, why isn't it me?!'

2. Beating Mr Rose over the head with a rolling pin saying 'go on ask me ask me ask me' 

3. Dancing around the room in a leotard doing the Single Ladies dance frantically thrusting my ring finger in his chops

But none of the above was true. I was in a heap. But I was not sobbing in a jealous rage I was snoring gently with what can only be described as a Class A hangover. 

After ringing her and whooping excitedly, for I really am very pleased for them, the cold realisation set in that I felt like a port soaked badger had died in my head and was slowly rotting. 

Last night was NYE and we hosted a small supper for our pals Alexa and Ackrington. It was a raucous evening and I'm feeling the effects of too much champagne, Sauvignon Blanc and port. It is the port which has laid me low today- every time I drink it I swear I never will again. Sigh. You'd think at 30 I would have an idea about how not to poison myself.  

In order to shake off the feeling of slow death, we had an uber healthy lunch of chicken casserole filled with lentils, spinach and veg. 

Then I had a delightful bath with my top reviving products: Elemis herbal lavender repair mask, l'oreal elvive renutrition hair mask and a lovely body lotion from Cowshed- called Horny Cow! 

I now have shiny hair, glowing skin and smell less like a tramp. Bingo. 

Now I can get on with the serious business of the day, finding pictures of mahoosive rings I think Cousin LL should get!  

Happy new year, possums. 

Rose xx

Post Christmas Recreation

Well I hope you all had a truly delightful Christmas. Ours was fantastic. 

Unfortunately I can't tell you all about it in gory detail as I was made to sign a gagging order and am only allowed to tell you: What goes on at Christmas stays at Christmas. 

Now I bet you are all intrigued! It probably sounds like we snorted coke off reindeer's heads!  

Sadly not, we save that for NYE, but it is safe to say we had a super time.

On the 27th at the crack of sparrows, Mr Rose and I headed to Bicester Village for a touch of sale shopping. 

We made it back to our London abode exhausted but happy.  We fought half of Shanghai and Tokyo for suits, coats, frocks and shoes. 

So when we got home we had a restorative slice of Christmas cake, which you may remember I made a few weeks ago. http://rosetotheoccasion.blogspot.com/2011/11/christmas-cake-kit-in-box.html

Well it turned out blooming delish. 

Here it is before icing 

Then you have to paint it with apricot jam melted with brandy.  Mr Rose is rather precious about his one remaining bottle after our burglary. So I decided to use Amaretto and as I was feeling festive I sloshed lots onto the cake as well.  

Here it is after stage 1 - the marzipan. 

Then the final product! 

I was pleased as punch with it and I think liberally dousing it with Amaretto has made it amazingly moist. 

Do pop round for a slice if you are in the area! 

Rose xx

Take two

Ok here is the photo

(please god) 

Testing testing 123

Well this is all very new and exciting - I'm blogging from the lovely new iPad Mr Rose gave me for Christmas! 

Not exactly sure if this will work or how I post pictures so thought I'd do a little  test run. 

This is the vast amount of sale shopping we brought home from Bicester Village. 

If this works then I promise a proper post very soon. 

Rose x

Christmas with my family

This year we have a few Hangers On / Beloved Guests attending our family Christmas:  Mr Rose, Mr Cousin LL and Miss Cousin TL.  The poor darlings haven't been to Christmas at ours before so here is a little taster of what to expect.

The Scene:  The Twins (my mother and Aunty Mame) dislike to be parted at State Occasions, so we always have Christmas all together.  Actually none of us really like to be parted on State Occasions.  As our clan grows with fiancées and boyfriends we are bursting at the seams, someone needs to buy us our own village. 
As Aunty Mame's house has more bedrooms, my family usually rock up at theirs on Christmas Day at about 1pm and stay put for full 48 hours, before Uncle R chases us out with a broom. 
The venue is a gorgeous Queen Anne house in a stunning Cotswold village, in the constituency of The Right Hon. David Cameron.  You get the picture.  It will have been tastefully decorated with white lights outside the front door, a huge tree in the drawing room, boughs of holly and ivy over the fireplaces and a roaring fire. 
Within minutes of entering the house you will have been handed a large stiff drink (usually gin or champagne), been offered homemade canapé and had a backwards compliment about your scarf "So bold to pick mustard with your complexion!". 

The Cast:

Auntie Mame:  The Grand Dame of Christmas and Hostess with the Mostest.  She will have organised Christmas by October 22nd, complete with mental lists of what games should be played, when they should be played and who should win them.  Walks and routes will have been decreed "A brisk walk round to Chav Close to see the lights now, though you will be disappointed as it isn't nearly as vulgar as last year".  Menus will be planned carefully as it is no mean feat to feed 12 people for 3 days.  Food will be delish and plentiful.  Most likely to say: "Anyone not up for breakfast by 10am will find themselves having yoghurt and fruit, waffles will only be served to those who can rise at a godly hour!"

Uncle R:  He will welcome us all warmly to his abode, keep us all gently pissed for a few days by replenishing our gins regularly and will no doubt be wearing a jaunty pair of socks.  He will excel at Boys Against Girls Trivial Pursuits by knowing an obscure fact about baseball in 1987, and Aunty Mame will look very fondly at him muttering about how she married well.  Most likely to say "Annie has drunk all the Baileys but I think I've got another couple of litres of it in the barn.."

Grandma:  Grandma lives on her own apart from a cat who she loves like a 4th daughter.  She will talk about the cat quite a lot.  She will also talk about Hamas, Lebanon, Syria and the state of the Middle East. A strict Catholic, she is very concerned that most of her beloved grandchildren are LIVING IN SIN.  Most likely to say:  "Mr Rose, come and sit by me and tell me what you think of Ed Miliband.  Now - when are you going to marry my Granddaughter? Hmm?"

Cousin LL:  She will be wearing an outfit that looks like Prada, but will actually be something she picked up in Hammersmith Primark - she has a knack of making clothes look very expensive.  She will be a huge help to her mother, Auntie Mame, will leap up to help in the kitchen. Not only helpful, she is great fun and good at keeping the peace.  Most likely to say: "Rose if you don’t get off your well padded bottom and come and unload the dishwasher there will be trouble!"

Mr Cousin LL (Cousin LL's Boyf):  He hasn't been to Christmas at ours before, so it shall be interesting to see how he copes.  I've once played Articulate with him and nearly didn't live to tell the tale, so safe to say he will be excellent value in the games arena.  Most likely to say:  "I'm not watching sodding Bridesmaids, Mr Rose - shall we watch Newsnight in the kitchen with a brandy?" 

Cousin TL:  Recently back from Argentina, he will now be an authority on red wine.  Likely to sniff at the Chateauneuf du Pape and go misty eyed over a rather jolly little red they enjoyed on a ranch.  Manages to get out of most dish clearing because of him being the only child with a penis, but we forgive him because he plays the piano like and angel and will do so for hours so we can have a good sing song.  Most likely to say: "WHO HAS SEEN MY SELECTION BOX?"

Miss Cousin TL (Cousin TL's Girlf): The first Fiancée of the group, she will be goodness personified - cheerful, jolly and able to answer endless questions about her upcoming wedding without even a grimace.  Since she has joined The Clan we now receive excellent presents from TL as she is well known for her exquisite taste.  Most likely to say:  "Uh oh, was the cat?  Quick, please pass the antihistamines"

My mama:  She will be in her element, she loves nothing more than having her 'chicks' around her.  She will also have a slight air of disappointment around her, as a few years ago my Dad surpassed himself and managed to sneak a new Mini onto the driveway so when she opened the curtains on Christmas Day the yelps of joy could be heard in a 4 mile radius. Ever since then, it has been hard to go back to normal Christmas presents as she really feels, as we all do really, that presents should be so large they have to go on the driveway.  Most likely to say (to my dad) "Did you set the SKY Plus for the Christmas Strictly Special?  I left you a highlighted Radio Times - it was your only job to do this week!"

My papa:  Pops will be full of Christmas Spirit and stuffing. He used to spend his Christmas Days building Sylvanian Houses but those days are long gone.  Now he will look slightly appalled  at the dress Izzy got in her stocking and have his nose in Jenson Button's unofficial biography. He will make dreadful puns which make us all laugh.  Most likely to say: "Please could I have seconds of the apricot stuffing and the chestnut stuffing.  Oh and another slice of ham please.  Have you got any pickle, Mame?"

Rose To The Occasion:  I will be wearing a slutty frock, too much lipstick and inch long false eyelashes for the first half of the day, leisure wear from 5pm onwards.  I'll have half an eye on Mr Rose to check he isn't saying anything rude / bored / desperate to read a newspaper.  It is important to give your all on Christmas Day so I'll make sure I get pissed and tell rude jokes, pretend to empty the dishwasher while actually slyly dunking a kettle chip into cold bread sauce, and try and persuade everyone to play as many games of Scrabble as possible.  Most likely to say: "I am 100% percent sure that the Trivial Pursuit card is incorrect, Leona Lewis won X Factor in 2007 I'd state my life on it"

Mr Rose:  His first Christmas with My Clan.  He is used to a very quiet and intellectual Christmas Day, with discussions over lunch of the latest plays, novels and political situation in North Korea. So our loud, musical and jolly festivities will no doubt leave him a little quiet.  He can eat for England, so Mame and my mum go into competition as to who can feed him the most.  He will slope off the watch 24 Hour News regularly, especially when there is singing, but will be excellent at all the quizzes and will make me very proud.  Most likely to say:   "I wouldn't watch Bridesmaids if you threatened to cut off my balls with a spoon. Mr Cousin LL, shall we watch Newsnight in the kitchen with a brandy?" 

Annie:  Annie and Cousin LL try and compete on Best Daughter stakes, so she will also be swanning around clearing up my gin glass before the ice has had a chance to melt and handing round plates of canapés.  She will be itching for Christmas Dinner to finish so she can have a bloody good sing song around the piano and delight us all with her voice.  If I am pissed enough I will no doubt shed a tear if she does a solo.  Grandma will mutter darkly about how she is wasted in ‘the devil’s business’ (Advertising) and should have been on the stage.  Most likely to say (at regular intervals, high volume and with aplomb ) “best Christmas EVER!!”

Izzy: Izzy will wear a natty little outfit.  As she is the youngest of the clan, she still gets treated as the baby even though she is 21.  As the apple of all of our eyes, so we shall turn a blind eye if she is glued to her iPhone texting her handsome boyfriend who will be in France. Will probably sneak off at some point to watch Kristmas with The Kardashians on TV. Most likely to say: "Rose, will you give me a liquid eyeliner lesson after breakfast?"

I hope that sets the scene of what, I have no doubt, will be another joyous, raucous and hilarious Christmas.

May you all have jolly times!

Rose xx

The Particular Loveliness of Lemon Tart

So - picture the scene. 

I'm on the Northern Line, casually listening to Mariah's All I Want For Christmas Is Youuuuuuuu on a loop and very loudly, annoying the whole carriage. 

I look up and see a girl standing in front of me engrossed in a book.  The book is entitled The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake. 

This struck me as rather odd, because Lemon Cake is gorgeous.  Who doesn't like a bit of Lemon Drizzle?  Even Mr Rose who is well known for announcing 'Its not pudding unless it has chocolate in' is fond of my lemon drizzle cake.  How on earth can lemon cake make you sad? 

Anyway, instead of finding out why lemon cake made the person in the book sad, I decided to use it as a tenuous link to one of the best recipes I've ever tasted - made by my lovely colleague S for a team dinner party last year.  The poor lady has offered (well, was coerced into) having us all for a team dinner party again next week - she is a wonderful cook and I have my fingers crossed she will make it again. 
It is from BBC Good Food and is a classic Lemon Tart. 

Click here to see the recipe. 

It is lovely and light and would make a great pudding over the festive season!

Rose x

Christmas is just around the corner

Well it has begun.  My Christmas Tickle kicked off this morning - on the Northern Line at about 8.50am.  I am now well and truly excited. 

Reasons for the Christmas Tickle:

• I saw cousin LL last night for more than 1 glass of fizz, and we discussed how much we are looking forward to all being at her parents for Christmas.  It is unusual in a house of grown up kids that we are all there at once, but this year we have managed it.  It will be raucous.
• I have my team Christmas Party tonight.  30 of us will be hitting the local All Bar One - the theme is Get Wiggy With it.  I shall be in a hideous ginger wig teamed with a leopard print dress, red lipstick and a medium heel, just in case I need to dance my arse off. 
• The Michael Buble Christmas Album is the gift that keeps on giving.  His duet of White Christmas with Shania Twain not only combines 2 of the 3 best things to come out of Canada (the third is Bryan Adams who has been rudely missed off the album) but will put a very christmassy spring in your step.  Check it out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtcAW7duss8
• Tomorrow I have the day off work.  I will be sleeping off the inevitable hangover, then popping to Waitrose to pretend I'm a North London Jewish Housewife.  I shall wear my biggest jewels for the trip, obvs.  Then in the afternoon after cooking up a storm my oldest pals, Carrie and Katia will be arriving for their Annual Christmas Trip to London and much merriment shall proceed. 
• The Christmas Decorations box has come out from under the spare bed, the wreath is up on the front door - the tree goes up Sunday.  
• Auntie Mame has emailed this morning with details of the finalists for The Christmas Song.  The Christmas Song is a long standing family tradition which makes us look rather odd to outsiders.  Every year after Christmas Lunch we have a little sing song when we are all as pissed as newts. Cousin TL hits the ivories and we kick off with Bohemian Rhapsody, in a rousing chorus.  The next song varies every year.  Sheet music is handed out. We have had 'You're so Vain', 'Halleluiah' and 'Don't Stop Believing' in recent years.  Watch this space to find out what we pick.

So dear readers, play this track very loudly and spread the cheer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Yr9_34Y4Y

 

Rose x